Because if you don’t, nobody will. Because the best care has to come from you to yourself first. From others are just a plus. They are welcome, great even, but not essential. Self care is. And self caring includes taking a good care of your mind, body and soul. They are all important aspects of the self. And if one of them are neglected, the other two suffer. So find ways to support all of your selves. Try different things and see what works best for you.
For your mind you can try meditation, yoga, visualization, affirmations, psychotherapy, memory exercises…
For your body there are plenty of activities like a morning walk, running, lifting weights, yoga, Pilates, Zumba, ballroom dancing, massages, Reflexology, Acupuncture, other alternative therapies, seek good doctors, and so on and on and on… Eat healthier, full of nutrients food, do your annual physical exams…
For your soul you can try alternative therapies like soul retriever, Reiki and things like meditation, yoga, pray, spiritual practice or rituals…
Explore the possibilities. Seek help when you need. Listen to yourself, to your body. Get in sync with all your selves. Breathe well and deeply, slowly. Don’t overdo. Relax often. Rest anytime you feel up to or need. Do things that make you happy. Do things out of your comfort zone. Keep your friendship network alive and kicking. Let love happens. Have your back. Be present in whatever you do. Be you.
And yes, make time for it. You deserve it.
And before you feel guilty (if you aren’t already) keep in mind this: if you don’t take a good care of yourself first, you will not be able to take care of others who might need you either. Because in order to do so, you gotta be alright, be at your best or at least functioning well to take a good care of others.
This morning when I opened up my Twitter to check the news (and the verbal fightings du jour) the first thing I saw was a link to this post on Medium: It’s not enough to be right. You also have to be kind. (Please, read it. It is worthy.) The text represents me so much that I wish I had written it from beginning to end. It is perfect and totally in sync with how I see the way things are lately, especially but not only, in politics. Here in Brazil, in the USA and in the world. People are so eager to convert other people into their own ideas and beliefs, especially in this new platform called social media that their usual chosen converter element is attacking, shaming people into it.
However, it is not what end up happening. It is like fighting fire with more flames. All you generate is more heat, friction, polarization. Because calling them names (extremist, lunatic, fascist, marxist, socialist, capitalist, idiot, stupid, heartless and so on and on), making them feel bad or excluded from your bubble club are not helping any kind of conversion. This might resonate highly well with people that think and behave alike yourself but it is never gonna convert the ones who don’t.
It is like as much as you punch with all the hate you’ve got, they hold on stronger into their own beliefs, ideas. You might have a point, be totally right about it but yet, you are NOT gonna help them see your truth by force or shame. It never helps.
Instead try setting your mind like this:
Hate the attitude, thoughts, beliefs, not the person.
This makes you focus on the attitude, thought, belief instead of the person. It will help you to be more objective, to focus in dealing with the issue instead of attacking, shaming the person. Because that is what you should attack if you want to convince anyone about anything.
And then, with this attitude, you may be able to address whatever with kindness. Because after all, it is through kindness that you can reach someone’s heart. And there is no better ally than a person’s heart to change their mind.
I can say with no hesitation that Coconut Water is by a mile my favorite drink. I could drink it all day long instead of water. Love it. Love it. Love it. But besides that little detail, I also drink Coconut Water every single day because it has a good amount of phytonutrients, electrolytes, vitamins and minerals, it is one of the best things to keep me hydrated from inside out (and I am a hydration freak as you probably already know) and last but never least, it is a great source of potassium, a mineral I need in extra doses to keep at bay some OverMethylation side effects and I do prefer to drink it rather than take a pill for it. And yes, I am yet to talk about Methylation, so stay tuned cause soon I will.
Anyways, every day after my morning walks I rest for a while drinking some refreshing Coconut Water. That is the best moment for me to indulge in it. It is my little ritual. Afterwards I feel cooled down and restored.
Other facts and benefits of my beloved Coconut Water:
It has only 46 calories in a 240 ml, 3g of fiber, 2g of protein, 10% of RDI Vitamin C, 15% of RDI Magnesium, 17% of RDI Manganese, 17% of RDI Potassium, 11% of RDI Sodium, 6% of RDI Calcium.
It may help lower blood pressure. Or at least keep it in its healthy range.
It may prevent and/or address cramping. It is way better than a banana for it, thanks to its Potassium levels.
It is healthier and in some cases can be better in terms of nutrients than a sports drink as well. It will all depends on which nutrients you are after.
It may provide cardioprotective effects due its nutrients.
It may reduce the risk of kidney stones.
It may help to address diabetes.
It may protect against oxidative stress.
It may maintain bone, teeth health and muscle strength.
It is one of the best ways to keep the body well hydrated.
It helps to maintain the proper fluid balance in the body.
But like everything in life, approach with moderation. Since Coconut Water has a high level of Potassium, it can lead to and OD of it (Hyperkalemia.) And it can be dangerous. It can lower way too much your blood pressure, cause irregular heartbeat, a heart attack and even paralysis.
Today I woke up asking myself that question. And my answer, after listening deeply to myself was: most certainly not. And with this answer came one of those a-ha moments when I realized that this may be the reason or at least one of the reasons I keep on sabotaging myself, missing out opportunities, keeping me stuck here in this eternal in-between space, never moving forward or out of here. And it is, because when you cannot forgive yourself you have to punish yourself somehow, because deep inside you believe you need to pay for it. And do you know a better way to do it rather than keep you trapped in this vortex where you are a major loser, with no chance to get it right at the end or to get out of there?
Remembering that forgiveness is not forgetting, that forgiveness doesn’t excuse the behavior, it only prevents it from destroying your heart, it prevents you from being a prisoner, a hostage from something that happened and you no longer have a power to change or re-do it if you could. You can only learn from it and do better, much better next time. And become a better person in the way.
And if you are stuck out there in this prison within, in order to break free, move on, you have to forgive… Others, but especially yourself. And this is so important and yet so hard to do…
I, for instance, am really good in forgiving others, but when I have to forgive myself… not that much. Maybe because I am a perfectionist who can only aim and accept perfection as a result of my attitudes and actions. I have to be that perfect girl. All the frakking time. In every single thing. If not, I feel bad, guilty, undeserving, ashamed, embarrassed, an embarrassment, not good enough, not worthy.
I ruminate things that I do and shouldn’t have done over and over and over again in mind, I feel them crushing my heart every single time. I hold on to them trying to understand, trying desperately to convince myself that “Ok, it happened, learn from it and let it go” but yet, I cannot. And I don’t.
I am there to myself, I comfort myself but still, deep inside I know that I haven’t forgiven myself completely for this or that.
And yes, I did things that I am not proud of, that I should indeed feel bad, ashamed, embarrassed, regretful about. But that happens even to little things that I know I have learned a good lesson from, things that made me a better person, for things I shouldn’t feel bad for because they are perceived as good actions by others, things that I know that at that time I was doing the best I could but still… was not good enough to my high perfectionist standards…
So, regardless, I am always feeling guilty, bad, unforgivable if things go a bit off the perfect road.
Why does it keep on happening then? Because even when you are aware of it, even when you are there for yourself and willing to fix it, still, forgiving is a very very hard thing to do. You have all those thoughts and beliefs pinned so deeply in you that it takes patient, time and effort in a daily basis to revert, to reset, to recover.
It is not going to transform itself like magic just because you know why it happens…
It is hard work, but it is also a vital work to heal yourself, to keep on going, to fulfill your destination.
And because of that it is so worthy.
So no matter how bad was something you thought or did, have the strength to forgive yourself and let it go. Let you go to where you should be. Let the good, kind person that lives within you thrive. If there is anything you can do to make mends, do it. If there isn’t, then learn from it, apply it and keep the lesson with you, let it make you a better being. And set yourself free. Because if you don’t, what is the point? What good can come from it?
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that a prisoner was you.”