When I Am Feeling Hopeless

I just allow myself to feel that way. Fully. I embrace my hopelessness. The sadness, the pain from it, the despair from the inability to see a light at the end of the tunnel… All of it. With no need to insert a positive thought to override it. And I make sure I have my back while I am riding this bull. Comforting me, being there for me.

And eventually, gradually the hopeless feeling goes away. Because there is nothing like a day after another or a feeling after another. And because things, feelings, emotions are not permanent. And when we let them, they complete their course on their own. When we resist, avoid them, they find their way to stick around us till we make room for them and the experience they are bringing us. And probably they will stay with us way more time. When they show up in our lives we have a great opportunity to dive in, to explore it, to live it and see what it can add up or subtract from our lives. And let it go whenever it is the time to go. And it will. We just have to let it happen.

The only thing I keep in mind during it is exactly that: its impermanence nature. Because that is the secret to endure the bring it on attitude. Let me tell you one thing: Not so long ago I took vitamin D (that is not actually a vitamin but a hormone) prescribed by a doctor and suddenly after a while my levels sky rocketed. And I had a pretty bad side effect from it: I had a major panic attack. It was more like a horror attack to be honest. I entered this dark vibe where I could not see any positivity, there was no hope left at all. I was totally terrified by anything but especially about my vitamin D levels and all the problems that could bring to my health. Imagine a hypochondriac level advanced. Now multiply by 3 and you will get my inner drama. But, although I could not see a light at the end of this tunnel at least I knew that as soon as my vitamin D levels dropped to their normal self I would be me again, I would restore my hope. All I had to do was keep on breathing, keep on going, one day after another.

And after 3 weeks (in panic hell), that is what happened. But only then my hopelessness estate of mind went away. And finally I could see some light in all that darkness. After this episode I just ratified my M.O. (modus operandi) for dealing with my hopeless moments. And it became much easier, I must confess. And it did because those 3 weeks were pretty hard to deal with. Pretty hard. Even knowing. But I made it through!

And now all I have from those 3 weeks are gratitude. For the lesson, for surviving it, for giving me a much stronger tool to deal with my hard moments. And courage to face the upcoming ones. Because they will certainly come. And they will certainly go.

One thought on “When I Am Feeling Hopeless

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