Yet, still moving.
But always moving.
Away from my dreams.
Because they are THE things I am doing my very best (or worst?) avoiding to go for.
So I move…
In other directions.
Away from them.
That is why I fell stuck, frozen in time. Because although I am moving I am going nowhere really. Not where I should go.
And that sucks.
Not only because time is getting short each day, month and year I procrastinate yet another step in the right direction.
But because deep inside I know I am not doing what I am suppose to do.
Funny thing is I don’t think I am moving too far from my dreams.
I stick around.
Just in case?
With a wide opened eye on them.
A heart beating in their rhythm.
But my feet, damn feet!, follows my scary mind that keep on walking away from them.
Just going round and round, waiting to jump in any moment.
Actually, not in any any moment, but the perfect moment when inspiration becomes so impossible to avoid that I have no other alternative other than jump in.
But the sad true is the fear of failure (or should I say, to succeed?), the ghost of perfectionism, the critical devil inside keep guarding me from this vital jump.
Till when will I be around waiting for that perfect moment that will never ever come? I wonder.
Because there is no such thing as the perfect moment. Just the moment. And by itself, without harsh judgements or romantic ideals, it can become the perfect moment.
Or something very close to it.
I don’t fear the answer. I know the answer.
What I fear the most is to know that even knowing the recipe to unfrozen me, here I am, frozen as an Iceberg.
But not really.
And yet moving.
Round and round.
With this huge and amazing ocean to brave ahead.