About A Broken Heart

It hurts. A lot. And it’s supposed to. After all, it’s a broken heart.

Sometimes we get sad, disappointed and even angry with the other person (because, seriously, how could they?๐Ÿคฃ). Sometimes, we get sad, disappointed and so angry with ourselves (because, seriously, how could we make the same mistake again of falling for the wrong person once again?๐Ÿ˜”).

Other times, a mix of both.

No matter the case, it hurts. And it does, because when we welcome somebody to our world, give them a key to our heart so they can come in and make themselves comfortable, they become a piece of it. The heart expands and accommodates. And when, suddenly that piece leaves, it’s no longer there, we get a hole, a windy, cold, painful hole. That aches. That longs for that little tiny piece to come back. To feel whole, cozy and warm again.

Our hearts take time to realize that once, not so long ago, it worked and functioned without that little tiny piece that now is missing. And it can and will function properly again without it.

Eventually.

If, better, when we let it be.

But until then, it does ache.

A lot.

But guess what? It’s much much better to feel that broken heart pain than to feel nothing. No pain, no love, just nothing. The void of numbness can be a much worse feeling. And usually is.

Much.

Trust me. Been there. Done that. I’d rather feeling each inch of a broken heart than feel absolutely nothing at all. Because being alive is the experience of feeling, whatever we feel, good, bad, beautiful or ugly. And when we don’t, we feel dead inside. And although breathing with the heart beating and the mind thinking, we are pretty much dead.

And is there a worst “feeling” than this?

Clearing Out Those Cloudy Days

It has been a while since my last post here and I would love to say this was because my life at this side of the computer screen was pretty busy and exciting. But it wasn’t the case. I was just going through one of those moments when there is this gray cloud above your head surrounding you everywhere you go. Those moments when every little thing you do seems to be wrong or not working. Not the beast place to be, but hey, it is part of being alive. It happens as much as s**t happens. And all we can do is try to make a good sense out of it. Try to learn something or THAT thing that made you go through this.

Breathe. Deep. In and out. All the way through.

Meditate.

Practice some thing spiritual. In my case Kundalini.

Dig deep in.

Pray.

Be opened to listen to yourself.

And embrace whatever it comes.

It also helps to face it with a sense of humour.

Or a sense of adventure.

Because it is an adventure. To the other side. To the shadow-ish side.

A side that is also a part of who we are, even if we don’t want it to be. Really hard.

And if this is the case I have got news for you: this is THE thing that is keeping you stuck. THE thing that probably is sabotaging all your attempts to live a full life, to be you and feel you. To accomplish THAT thing you are so desperately wants.

Don’t fight that part of who you are. You don’t want him/her as your enemy.

Instead, welcome.

Embrace.

Show compassion.

Love even.

Hug honestly.

Or at least let him/her talk and listen.

Be there.

Sometimes that is all she/he/they want.

And if it’s not, being there, opened to listen to a honest answer will get you to figure out what you need to do to move on. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐ŸŒธ

When You Are Your Worst Enemy

Image by Pexels from Pixabay.

Recently I realized for the first time something wonderful: that I do have my back. If I need me, some support, help I can totally count on myself. I am my own rock. And I realized that because when I most needed support and help (going through my B12 deficiency and Meno(pause) hell) and I couldn’t count on anyone but me, I did have my back. Woo-hoo!

All the way through.

Regardless.

It feels homy, cozy, warm, powerful.

It gives you confidence, encouragement, hope, resilience, strength.

Having said that, there is another less wonderful side to this, I believe, same coin: at times I can also be my worst enemy. That presents itself as that little voice inside that doesn’t think I am capable of or qualified enough or has a particular talent or what it takes to go for whatever I aiming for or dreaming about. That inner leash that keeps me prisoner, that bitch who doesn’t let me go, rock’n roll. That part of myself that clearly doesn’t have my back. Instead, holds it, tight.

It feels scary, moldy, restrain, suffocating.

It makes you not only doubt yourself but totally lose the faith in you.

You feel lost, disconnected, apart, an alien in your life.

It keeps you down, sad, unwillingly to move.

And you get stuck. Even aware of it.

Because unless the enemy within becomes a friend, or at least a frenemy, at times, the effect of this side of the coin will remain the same.

And how to make peace with the enemy within?

Well, I’ve got a plan. ๐Ÿ˜‰

One Thing You Should Know About Introverts

For any introvert person, being social is a draining thing. Full stop. And this is not related to bad energy around or anything like this. So, don’t take it personal if you aren’t an introvert. Obviously that this can make things even drainer for any introvert but still, it really doesn’t matter how pleasant or unpleasant the experience is, how good vibe or bad vibe a person or a group of people is, socializing it’s always draining. Because interacting with people are draining for us.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay.

And honestly, as far as my experience as an introvert goes, being social virtually is pretty much the same as being social in person. It’s still a draining thing.

At a first glance being social virtually could seem like a good opportunity for us introverts to mingle more easily since apparently we are kind of protected, shielded from different sides of a computer’s screen (or phone/tablet). But the truth is we are not. Because the draining problem isn’t related to shyness but the energy we tend to expend when socializing. It’s all about energy. Therefore, it really doesn’t matter where that socializing thing happens, if it’s in a living room or in a chat room. We will feel drained with this experience, regardless.

And because of that we might need to leave a chat or a party a little earlier than most and get some alone, quiet time to recharge right after that. And for as long as our “introvertness” needs to recover.

Unfortunately or fortunately, socializing is a draining thing that we, introverts can’t skip nowadays since socializing virtually or in person is a big part of our social and professional lives. It’s a must if we wanna keep in touch with friends and family and if we wanna grow professionally. It’s simply impossible don’t incorporate that.

It’s our onus to the bonus. And we try to deal the best we can with it.

And if you want to know more about Introverts, here is a link with other interesting issues about it.

Those Days When You Feel Overwhelmed With So Many Things To Do…

Me:

Hehehehe But it is so true.

Every time I have a lot of things to do, a lot of ideas coming to me, a lot of decisions to make or something I consider great is developing, I feel so overwhelmed that the only thing I can do is to step away from it and let it sink. For a while. So I stop thinking about it, I give it a time, relax or do something else and after this pause I go back to the ideas or things I have to get done, to decide, to organize mentally.

And I do think this is a good approach. It takes a bit of the edge of it. It gives me a refreshed perspective.

Having said that, sometimes it takes me way too long to go back to them. But it does because I am afraid to make a poor decision, to screw up a great idea… It is more fear than overwhelming. Fear of failure. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of not being perfect… the usual.

In those cases, facing it, breathing through it and doing it anyways it is the way to go.