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I personally agree. I believe that every thing we do, speak, think… every behave we have towards another person tells something about ourselves. And we should listen to it.
And I also believe that every thing that bugs us regarding the other is something we need to work on ourselves more than anything. Not necessarily because we are alike that feature in particular but because there is some thing in there that needs to be addressed at some level. What? Only digging, dealing with it will tell.
“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill
And my mother has been a good one. Not perfect, but a perfect good one. With her ups and downs, getting things right and making some mistakes, she has been the best mom she could possible have been to me. And I am very grateful for that. I am grateful to her for all the lessons, all the support, all the love that in her way she has given to me. Truly.🙏
I am not a mother myself for my own choice, so I will never know what the motherhood experience is all about but I know one thing for sure: if I were a mother I would have been just like her, with my ups and downs, with my rights and wrongs doings in my way of always trying to do my best for my kids. Maybe with a different set of ups and downs, correctness and mistakes but still… ups and downs, correctness and mistakes…
Because mothers are not super heroes, although some times and in certain occasions they seem that way.
But they are not. They are humans, just like us, who gave us this amazing gift called life, with strengths and flaws, doing their very best to help us become the best version of ourselves. And that should be enough to love them unconditionally. Even when their love doesn’t seem unconditional. Sometimes fear and their own humanity can cloud that. Because, as I said, they are humans, just like us. And they are doing the best they can at that moment. And we should acknowledge it and always have that in mind. Because if we do, unconditional love it is for all our mothers.
And that is the best gift we can all give to them. And for anyone for that matter.
Well, according to this article on The Atlantic, yes, the Instagram aesthetic is over. Or about to be. At least, there is a trend that is starting to get shape among Millennials (who else?) who are seeking to portray in their Instagram feeds a more real deal life.
To be honest, as I said in a previous post I don’t think that is the case just yet. All I see out there, at least among the most followed and liked people/brands is beautiful, perfect, super produced photos. A totally insta life. That is still what people in general seem to gravitate to. Instagram remains a window to scape from their own reality, a dreamy station. Just like Fashion magazines used to be and still are for those who keep on buying and reading them. I confess: I am not one of them. Although sometimes I have a look here and there at the stand or bookstore to see what is going on. Yep, pretty much the same.
I just hope that this new trend sticks and grows up to the point that actually offers another aesthetic option that is followable. Something to refresh the air over there. Because visually, it can tire you up.
And yes, I am still over there. Struggling to find my visual voice, taking horrible selfies, very uncomfortable when posing, still clueless about lighting, having no idea how to put on some interesting stories… yep, failing highly over there. If you want to follow my Insta ordeal, here is my handler @fabafter47M
Today I woke up thinking about comparison. Because it is impossible to navigate through Instagram without comparing yourself at some level. Especially when you are placing yourself out there as a brand, as I am trying to. My idea when I decided to have a presence in that particular social media was to voice my perspective regarding my life as a post-menopausal woman who went through hell and came back not only to tell her story but also to live in style. And loving every moment of it. But in a realistic, down to earth way, not in an Instagram way.
Well, first my moment at this moment is far from being lovable. Lots of dark clouds around, uncertainty, sadness, even some depression… Which is ok, it is part of living. And at least I am glad to be able to feel it again, even the bad things, cause for a long time I was simply numb. To everything. But still, not a shiny moment to be out there.
Second: I found a lot of stylish, interesting women around my age and older doing their thing out there. And rocking it. It is really fun, inspiring to look up to them. They got their place already and I think women around my age is pretty well represented. Which makes me think that I am late and kind of irrelevant right now. That is what comparison is all about, right?
Third: as I said above, my idea was to bring some down-to-earth kind of style/lifestyle. But the feeling I get on Instagram is that people over there want an Instagram reality not a real-deal one, with its ups and downs, its beautiful and ugly sides. People want high-production, shine happy, fun people all the time. And only that. For me this a bit tiring, draining even because nobody is like that all the time. Life is not just black or white, it is a mixture of them both and every color in between. And the energy to fake it is touchable out there. Which makes the whole experience extremely exhausting for someone empathic as I am. And I am not even gonna talk about how eventful their lives are: traveling every where, going to places all the time… I get tired just by looking at their busy routine… Oh, my!
Also, it is impossible not to look up to other feeds and compare to yours. And for a person like me, with a very lively sense of aesthetics, my feed looks terribly underwhelming. Pretty much my mood lately at some level. Which makes me want to up my game. But then I will lose my main inspiration to be there.
Fourth: man, how hard it is to grow organically out there. And here as well, for that matter. Some times it can really get into you. It is disappointing. And lonely. And it makes you want to give up because you think you are going nowhere and everything you are doing is pure crap, anyways. The others are the ones who are mastering it, so you don’t belong there. Or here.
And yes, I do know I do. Blogging at least is my place to be. I love it. And I know I used to be damn good at it. Just looking forward to find my voice and speak the hack of me. Because after all, everybody has its place. We just have to find it where it is. And let it shine.
And how about you? How are you dealing with comparison?
Today is Earth’s Day and despite whether or not you believe in #GlobalWarming and on this #NewGreenDeal thing what we should do as a human being today and everyday is to have a more respectful and loving approach to our planet in our daily lives. Our planet that is our home. And it is a beautiful, diverse, amazing home. A home that should be taken care of, never taken for granted.
And we shouldn’t even do it just to have a home in this Universe, but because we deeply care, because we enjoy keeping our home as great as it is. We acknowledge it, we are grateful for it and we act as such.
And there are so many “little” things we can do to show respect and love to our planet. Like being a more conscious consumer, recycling, preserving the green around us, producing less waste, keeping the cities and nature clean, being responsible citizens, caring for the animals, caring for one another…
So, instead of celebrating Earth today, celebrate it every single day, appreciating it, enjoying it, being grateful for it. And as I said before, acting as such. Be kind to Earth as much Earth has been so kind and generous to us. 🙏