Some Days You Just Feel Off

It happens. And there is nothing I can do to revert it. I wish I could be one of those people who can turn an off vibe into an on vibe. But I am not. Regardless what I do, I just feel off.

Offline.

Disconnected.

Lost in Translation.

As if nothing works.

I can’t work.

Or think.

There is no perspective.

No hope.

Just a sense of sadness.

An emptiness.

Nothing fulfills.

Nothing brights up.

Nothing makes sense.

Not even a post. This post.

All I can do is let it be.

Embrace it.

Breathe.

Stay in.

Have some fun with it.

And wait till it goes away.

Because it will.

Like always.

Although deep in my heart I know this is so true, also deeper in there somewheret I am still waiting for that person to do this trick.

I know: stupid me. But I can’t help thinking that this would be soooooo much easier (right?) and magical (maybe?) than figuring out all by myself. Yep, I am lazy. And currently tired. Of failing. Of being stuck. Of never getting there.

But still, in spite of it all, I can sense that sparkle in me that doesn’t let me give up. Ever. Even if nobody else is coming for the rescue. I know I am enough. And that person I see in the mirror every single day will get there. Eventually.

๐Ÿ˜‰

When You Are Your Worst Enemy

Image by Pexels from Pixabay.

Recently I realized for the first time something wonderful: that I do have my back. If I need me, some support, help I can totally count on myself. I am my own rock. And I realized that because when I most needed support and help (going through my B12 deficiency and Meno(pause) hell) and I couldn’t count on anyone but me, I did have my back. Woo-hoo!

All the way through.

Regardless.

It feels homy, cozy, warm, powerful.

It gives you confidence, encouragement, hope, resilience, strength.

Having said that, there is another less wonderful side to this, I believe, same coin: at times I can also be my worst enemy. That presents itself as that little voice inside that doesn’t think I am capable of or qualified enough or has a particular talent or what it takes to go for whatever I aiming for or dreaming about. That inner leash that keeps me prisoner, that bitch who doesn’t let me go, rock’n roll. That part of myself that clearly doesn’t have my back. Instead, holds it, tight.

It feels scary, moldy, restrain, suffocating.

It makes you not only doubt yourself but totally lose the faith in you.

You feel lost, disconnected, apart, an alien in your life.

It keeps you down, sad, unwillingly to move.

And you get stuck. Even aware of it.

Because unless the enemy within becomes a friend, or at least a frenemy, at times, the effect of this side of the coin will remain the same.

And how to make peace with the enemy within?

Well, I’ve got a plan. ๐Ÿ˜‰

One Thing You Should Know About Introverts

For any introvert person, being social is a draining thing. Full stop. And this is not related to bad energy around or anything like this. So, don’t take it personal if you aren’t an introvert. Obviously that this can make things even drainer for any introvert but still, it really doesn’t matter how pleasant or unpleasant the experience is, how good vibe or bad vibe a person or a group of people is, socializing it’s always draining. Because interacting with people are draining for us.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay.

And honestly, as far as my experience as an introvert goes, being social virtually is pretty much the same as being social in person. It’s still a draining thing.

At a first glance being social virtually could seem like a good opportunity for us introverts to mingle more easily since apparently we are kind of protected, shielded from different sides of a computer’s screen (or phone/tablet). But the truth is we are not. Because the draining problem isn’t related to shyness but the energy we tend to expend when socializing. It’s all about energy. Therefore, it really doesn’t matter where that socializing thing happens, if it’s in a living room or in a chat room. We will feel drained with this experience, regardless.

And because of that we might need to leave a chat or a party a little earlier than most and get some alone, quiet time to recharge right after that. And for as long as our “introvertness” needs to recover.

Unfortunately or fortunately, socializing is a draining thing that we, introverts can’t skip nowadays since socializing virtually or in person is a big part of our social and professional lives. It’s a must if we wanna keep in touch with friends and family and if we wanna grow professionally. It’s simply impossible don’t incorporate that.

It’s our onus to the bonus. And we try to deal the best we can with it.

And if you want to know more about Introverts, here is a link with other interesting issues about it.

Age Is Not Just A Number

Age is THE number.

Image by Mystic Art Design from Pixabay.

The number of years we have lived so far, we have experienced life.

The number of years we have learned, grown…

The number of years we had to meet people, know different places, different cultures, read, write, study, rest, exist.

And this is a major deal… A major number.

The praising number not a sorry number. We all should own it.

Celebrate it.

Cherish it.

Be proud of it.

After all, we are here, alive, breathing and kicking…

And ready to add more blooming years to this age number.